Okay, so for a very long while know i have felt very strange indeed.

By this I mean, not entirely here, but somewhere else.

I have felt this for most of my life.

It is quite like you are constantly moving at a different pace from everyone else.

Sometimes you feel as if you are going too fast for the world, and because you moving so fast everyone and thing around you becomes a blur.

But then sometimes you feel as if you are moving incredibly "uncomfortably" slow. Then everything and everyone around is, becomes a blur too because it is moving so fast in comparison to you.

So then, nothing is ever clear, and everything seems as a blur, and as you are only ever going at your own pace, the only thing which is clear is what's kept inside away from everyone else. But then it's not clear. It's tangled, twisted thoughts which don't makes sense at all. It's a twist and combination of dreams, depression, happiness and of love and hate.

So then I am constantly confused. But still i power forward with everything i have at things, even though everything is a blur and the unknown, and I don't know what i am doing.

I suppose there is something exciting about not knowing what you're doing, and just making split decisions on what to do as they come at you. I never really plan things, have never been organized, things never seem clear enough to make plans, because i will constantly be changing my mind if the plans are made sometime before i actually carry them out.

it's like how i like walking. Not anywhere is particularly, I just like to walk, anywhere. I enjoy getting lost, and do so often because I always tend to look up instead of down, but you never know who you are going to meet, or what places you are going to find. So even though, i don't know what i'm doing (like everything else) I am okay with it. Well, it's quite like an adventure, am I right?

Well to me it is. I prefer to be moving at my own pace, then getting caught up in other peoples. But sometimes it is hard. Because of time limits and deadlines. Because of reality saying wake up, you don't have time to muck around. Things need to be done, and quite frankly there is not enough time.

It makes me frown though, to look around and see all these people trying desperately to get from A to B all the time, constantly worrying and rushing and not taking time out to breathe. Not taking the time to look up in between, instead of looking down. To notice all the insignificant things that pass us by.

We watch the news. It convinces us the world is a dangerous and sullen place. Bad things happen to us, to prove it to a further extent. But I remember a time, as many of you do, when i was a child, and when I could look upon the world with a new set of eyes. When the world seemed like my playground, and not a place that can play with -us-. Play with our heads, our emotions, our hearts. i suppose you could also add our lives. But When we were kids, we didn't know that. When we were kids, we were almost fearless. When we were kids we were eager to try new things, explore, never ending curiosity of the world and things in it.

The world fascinated us, and we managed to see the beauty in everything. What changed? We grew up. We learnt. We saw things, we never could imagined, or we saw things happen to people, and never fully understood what it meant until we grew up and had the knowledge then to understand it finally, and then it changes each of us.

Because every thing you experience in this world, may it be taste, touch, see or hear, it all affects us, even if in a minimal way. It all affects us and changes some part of us, or the way we think. So when we get a better understanding of the world and start to understand that it's not all as pretty as it seemed to once be, the way we see things change.

I don't even know how to finish this, i kind of went off tangent, anyway, just stupid thoughts.